EDIT:

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING JOURNAL IS RATED "M" FOR MATURE DUE TO EXTREME USE OF SPOILERS, CURSE WORDS, AND INUENDOS. PLEASE DO NOT BE A N00B AND POST FLAMES IF YOU VASTLY DISAGREE.
THIS IS MY JOURNAL AND THEREFORE MY OPINION. IF YOU WANT TO TALK TRASH, DO IT ON YOUR OWN JOURNAL.
BY SCROLLING DOWN AND READING WHAT FOLLOWS THIS WARNING YOU ARE AGREEING AND THEREFORE WILL NOT THROW A HISSY FIT IF I DELETE/REPORT YOUR FLAME.
VIOLATORS OF THIS WARNING WILL BE PERSECUTED TO THE FULL EXTENT OF D.A. LAW.



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OK, LADIES AND GENTS HERE IS MAH JOURNAL OF LULZ WHERE WE TALKS ABOUT THIS HERE NEW MOON MOVIE

SO, AS THE MOVIE BEGINS EVERYONE IN THE AUDIANCE STARTS CLAPPING AND WHISTLING AND SCREAMING FOR JOY, SO I MISS OUT WHAT BELLA SAYS FOR THE FIRST 5 SECONDS.
(EVERYONE KINDA SHUSHES THEMSELVES LOL)

ITS A DREAM SEQUENCE BELA THINKS SHE SEE'S HER GRANMUM AND THEN FREAKS WHEN SHE REALIZES ITS HERSELF.
THE FUNNY THING ABOUT THIS DREAM SEQUENCE IS THAT IT PRETTY MUCH HELPED ME UNDERSTAND WHY BELLA WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO CHOOSE DEATH OVER LIVING.
PURE AND SIMPLE: SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GROW OLD.
WHY GROWING OLD IS SEEN AS "BAD" IS A CONUNDRUM FOR ME AS I'VE GROWN UP WITH A CULTURAL BACKGROUND WHERE THE OLDER YOU ARE, THE MORE REVERED AND BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE....

BUT I DIGRESS.

SO, BELLA WAKES UP ALL FREAKED OUT AND OF COURSE HER DAD MAKES A JOKE ABOUT TI BEING HER BDAY AND ALL. I THOUGHT IT WAS SWEET.
ALSO, I THINK IT MUST BE WITH THE YOUNGER GENS THAT GETTING PRESENTS ISN'T FUN, BECUZ I FOR ONE PRESENTS.
SRSLY, IF I HAD MY WAY I WOULD WAKE UP TO PRESENTS EVERY MORNING...BUT THATS ME GOING OFF AGAIN LOL

ANYWHO, OBLIGATORY SCHOOL SCENE WHERE BELLA MAKES OUT WITH EDWARD IN THE PARKING LOT, ONLY FOR JACOB TO SHOW UP AND BE ALL "MWAHAHAHAH, U FORGET DIS B MAH MOVIE! "
(AUDIANCE STARTS GOING "OMG OMG OMG! ITS TEH HAWTNESS HIM!"...I SIMPLY SMILED HUGELY AND CLAPPED MY HANDS)
EDWARD IS NOT PLEASED AND SHOWS IT BY SCOWLING....ABOUT THE ONLY EMOTION I'VE SEEN HIM USE OTHER THAN BOREDOM, CONSTIPATION, AND THIS FAKE SMILE THAT MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE HE'S SICK .
SO JACOB GIVES BELLA A GIFT WHICH I THOUGHT WAS LOVELY. HE HUGS HER AND EVERYONE IN THE AUDIANCE STARTS GOING "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

EDWARD IS STILL NOT PLEASED AND SCOWLS SOME MORE. BELLA RELUCTANTLY LETS GO OF JACOB AND WALKS TO SCHOOL WITH EDWARD.

I'D LIKE TO NOW SKIP TO SCENE THAT HAD ME LOL-ING IN MY SEAT.
ITS THE BREAK-UP SCREEN AND EDWARD IS EXPLAINING WHY BELLA CAN'T CUM COME.
UH-HUH, IT WAS THAT KIND OF GUTTER RXN.

SCENE:

EDWARD: *STARES AT BELLA* "..."
EDWARD: *STARES AT TREE* "..."
EDWARD: *STARES AT BELLA* "...."
BELLA: *SHAKING* "I'M COMING!"
EDWARD: "NO. NO, YOU'RE NOT COMING."
BELLA: *SHAKING* "WHY?" *FREEZES*
EDWARD: "BECAUSE I SAID SO."

IS THAT AKWARD OR WHAT? I WAS GIGGLEING AND GOT A FEW LOOKS FROM THESE TEENY-BOPPER EDWARD FANS LOL BUT BY THEN ALL THE OTHER GIRLS IN THE AUDIANCE WERE LAUGHING.

THE OTHER FUNNY SCENE WAS WHEN JACOB TOLD BELLA SHE COULDN'T COME WITH HIM BECAUSE IT WOULD CAUSE A SCENE LOL
BUT THAT WAS LATERS LOL

OK, SO AFTER EDWARD LEAVES BELLA GOES IN THE WOODS AND TRIES TO EAT WORMS AND SUCH LOL
JACOB AND HIS CREW FIND BELLA. MYSTEROUS SCENE WITH WHIPLASH CAMERA ANGLES...AND MANLY BOOB SHOT LOL
I HAVE TO SAY, I REALLY LIKE TAYLOR LAUTNER WITH LONG HAIR....TOO BAD HE DOESN'T LIKE THE LOOK
HE LOOKS GORGEOUS
OMG, I COULD PLAY WITH THAT HAIR ALL DA---OOPS! MOVING ON....>_>...

SO, BELLA GOES EMO AND STARES OUT A WINDOW FOR THREE FUCKING MONTHS! NEVER LEAVING THE SPOT, NEVER CHANGING HER CLOTHES....I THINK SHE WAS WEARING AN ASTRONAUT DIAPER SINCE SHE DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER GOING TO THE WATER CLOSET

FINALLY SHE BREAKS OUT OF THE RUT AND GOES ON THIS RAMPAGE OF RIDING ON RANDOM STRANGERS BACKS AND SUCH JUST TO SEE HER IMAGINARY FRIEND EDWARD.
OK, NOW LOGIC TELLS US THAT IF YOU START SEEING THINGS THAT AREN'T THERE....THEN YOU MUST HAVE A FEW LOOSE SCREWS IN YOUR HEAD
I'M SO GLAD WHEN SHE STARTS HANGING OUT WITH JACOB IT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE BOOK AND MOVIE. I SUDDENYL FOUND MYSELF REPLACING BELLA WITH ME THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THE MOVIE AND THEN I THINK I KINDA WENT OFF TRACK WITH THE FILM FROM THERE BECUZ WHEN I SNAPPED OUT OF IT I FOUND THAT IT WAS AT THE ITALY PART.
NOW, THIS SECOND TIME AROUND THAT I WATCHED IT I WAS ABLE TO SEE THAT BELLA WAS HEADING IN THE DIRECTION OF THAT SHE WOULD HAVE STAYED WITH JACOB, IF HE HADN'T BEEN GAG-ORDERED TO NOT TELL HER.
IT MADE ME CRY TO REALIZE THAT.
AND YET AGAIN I FELT LIKE STEPHANIE MEYER MUST HAVE A TRACK RECORD OF FAILED RELATIONSHIPS IF SHE FELT THAT LOVE WAS SOMETHING MATERIALISTIC AND NOT RAW, HAWT, NOR PASSIONATE.
EDWARD = MATERILIASTIC, JACOB = PASSION!
ANYWHO, I DID CRY THOUGH WHEN HE WAS TALKING TO HER IN HER BEDROOM.
I CRIED BECAUSE I KNEW THE ENTIRE SERIES WOULD HAVE BEEN A THOUSAND TIMES GRANDER IF IT HAD BEEN WRITTEN PROPERLY. I CRIED BECAUSE I REALLY FELT THAT POOR JACOB WAS TOYED AROUND WITH AND NOT GIVEN A CHANCE TO PROVE WHAT A VALUABLE CHARACTER HE WAS WITHIN THE STORY.
I CRIED BECUASE I WAS WONDERING WHY, WHY WHY WHY DO THESE STORIES ALWAYS FOLLOW THE OTHELLO MANTRA OF NOT ALLOWING MIXED COUPLES TO ACTUALLY SUCCEED IN LOVE? :T_T:

*AHEM* THATS ANOTHER JOURNAL FOR ANOTHER DAY...BACK TO TEH LULZ!

SO, EVERYONE IN THE AUDIANCE WAS GASPING, GIGGLING, AND WHISPERING WHEN JACOB WAS IN BELLAS ROOM AND THEY ALMSOT KISSED AND EVERYTHING.
MY LITTLE SISTER GRABBED ONTO MY ARM AND STARTED HYPERVENTILATING. I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE HOW HARD SHE WAS SQUEEZING MY ARM BECUASE I HAD TO PICK-UP MY JAW FROM THE FLOOR
MIND YOU, MY SISTER WAS ON THE FENCE LEANING TOWARDS EDWARD/BELLA...UNTIL SHE SAW JACOB IN HIS HEAVENLY SHIRTLESS GLORY. AFTER THAT, IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS FILLED WITH THE HOLY GHOST AND ONLY HAD EYES FOR THE WOLVES
SHE STARTED GOING "OMG, I WANT THAT STEAK, NOT THE DIET SALAD!"

THESE POOR GUYS IN THE AUDIANCE STARTED GOING " SO THATS HOW TO GET THE GIRL...."
LOL YES, THERE WERE SOME GUYS. THEY HAD SADLY BEEN ROPED IN BY GIRLFRIENDS/RELATIVES/SIBLINGS/FRIENDS-THAT-HAD-TO-GO-BECUZOF-SAID-FEMALES-BUT-DIDN'T-WANT-TO-BE-ONLY-GUY LOL

I SAW A GROUP OF GAY BOYS THAT WERE WEARING THEIR TEAM EDWARD SHIRTS THAT ON THE BACK HAD THE RED CIRCLE WITH LINE THROUGH IT OVER BELLA'S FACE LOL

BUT OMG, WHOEVER CAST TAYLOR FOR JACOB DID A FINE ASS JOB. I HAVE TO CONRGRAGULATE THEM ON PICKING OUT THE BEST ACTOR TO PORTRAY JACOB. SPOT ON!
I WOULD SRSLY TAP THAT PIECE OF JAILBAIT ANYDAY

I WAS LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF BELLA HAPPILY FORGETTING ABOUT EDWARD AND THOSE TIMES WHEN SHE AND JACOB ALMOST KISSED WERE VERY ZUTARA-ISH TO ME. I WAS JUST HOPING, EVER SO HOPEFUL, THAT THE MOVIE WOULD VEER OFF FROM THE BOOKS AND BE ALL JACOB/BELLA, BUT *SIGH* SADLY THAT WAS NOT TO BE.

WHEN ALICE SHOWED UP I KNEW IT WOULDN'T...AND SO I CRIED AGAIN.
HMMM, I WAS VERY EMOTIONAL WITH THIS FILM COME TO THINK OF IT

THE ITALY ACT WASN'T THAT GRAND TO ME. IT WAS BETTER IN THE BOOK. ONE OF THE VOLTURRI GAURDS LOOKED A BIT LIKE ROXAS, WHICH HAD MY SISTER AND I IN GIGGLES BECAUSE ALL HE NEEDED WAS BLUE PUPPY EYES AND A KEYBLADE TO COMPLETE HIS HILARIOUS LOOK
DAKOTA FANNING WAS AWESOME AS JANE THOUGH! SHE LOOKED, ACTED, AND DID EVERYTHING LIKE HOW I IMAGINED JANE WOULD BE! THE ONLY DIFFERENCE WAS I HAD IMAGINED HER VOICE WITH A SLIGHT BRITISH LILT...BUT THEN THATS BECUZ OF MY LITERARY BACKGROUND

I DO HAVE TO POINT OUT HERE THAT THROUGHOUT THE FILM, ANYTIME THEY SHOWED THE VAMPIRES MOVING...EVERYTHING SEEMED TO BE IN SLOW-MO.
WHY? BECUZ EVERYTHING LOOKS BETTER IN SLOW-MO!
EDWARD WALKING CALMLY TOWARDS BELLA = SLOW-MO, JASPER GETTING READY TO ATTACK BELLA = SLOW=MO, VICTORIA LACKY GETTING NIXED = SLOW-MO, EDWARD BARING HIS GODAWEFUL SICKLY CHEST SLOW-MO, VAMPIRE FIGHT SCENES = SLOW-MO, ETC...
I THINK THAT IF THEY WANT TO SHOW HOW FAST THE VAMPIRES ARE, MAKE EVERYTHING ELSE LOOK SLOW MOTION BUT HAVE THE VAMPIRES FIGHTING/MOVING "NORMALLY". IT CONVEYS HOW FAST THEIR MOVEMENTS ARE WITHOUT MAKING IT LOOK RIDICULOUS. UNLESS THEY WANT IT TO BE COMEDIC...THEN ITS FINE THE WAY IT IS.

ALICE'S VISION ABOUT BELLA THAT SHE SHOWED TO THE VOLTURRI WAS FUNNY. HOW SHE WAS ABLE TO GET AWAY WITH LYING IDK, BUT IT SHOWED HOW AWESOME SHE WAS

I LIKE HOW THEY ENDED THE FILM, AS ABRUPT AS IT WAS I FELT IT WAS NEEDED. I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO LOOK AT POOR JACOB BEING CUT UP THE WAY HE WAS. IF I HAD THE MAGICAL ABILITY TO ENTER MOVIES, I WOULD HAVE JUMPED IN AND BITCH-SLAPPED THE HELL OUT FO BELLA WHEN SHE TOLD JACOB "I LOVE YOU, BUT DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE...BECAUSE ITS HIM (EDWARD). I'LL ALWAYS CHOOSE HIM."
BITCH, IF YOU DON'T WANT JACOB THEN DON'T TELL HIM "I LOVE YOU" THEN SAY YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE HIM FOR SOMEONE ELSE. YOU HONESTLY THINK THATS GOING TO HELP HIM FEEL BETTER? MY GOD GURLY, YOU ARE SO BRAIN DED ITS A WONDER YOU'VE SURVIVED THUS FAR IN LIFE *HEADDESK*
UGH, NEVER EVER EVER TELL A GUY YOU LOVE HIM BUT THEN SAY YOU'RE GOING WITH SOMEONE ELSE. ITS JUST...WRONG. ALSO, NEVER GO AROUND THE WORLD TO SAVE A GUY WHO BROKE-UP WITH YOU JUST BECUASE YOU DON'T WANT HIM TO COMMIT SUICIDE OUT OF GUILT. GOOD GRIEF, IF THE GUY WANTED TO DIE, JUST LET HIM DIE. IF HE TELLS YOU "OH I LIED ABOUT NOT LIKING YOU BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOU BUT YET OU'RE HERE SO YEYZ!" AND YOU BELIEVE HIM, GO TO THE PSYCH WARD TOGETHER.
IF YOU A SANE PERSON FACED WITH THE SAME SITUA---WAIT, YOU WOULDN'T BE IN THAT PREDICAMENT BECUZ YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED WITH THE WOLF GUY. NEVERMIND THEN....

I JUST DON'T LIKE SEEING GIRLS LIKE BELLA MAKING AWEFUL DESICIONS AND THEN THEY'RE LOOKED UP TO LIKE "POSITIVE" ROLE MODELS. *SHAKES HEAD*

ANYWHO, I'M NOT GOING TO SEE ECLIPSE. I'M GOING TO WAIT FOR THE DVD BOX SET OF ALL FOUR FILMS AND THEN MAKE MY PURCHASE. I'LL ONLY SEE IT IF MY LITTLE SISTER WANTS TO GO. SHE IS IN HIGHSCHOOL AFTERALL AND CANNOT GO ANYWHERE UNATTENDED...AS DICTATED BY MY PARENTS

I WOULD LOVE TO DO A ROAST TO THESE FILMS ONCE THEY'RE FINISHED. I FIND IT ENTIRELY TOO EASY TO MAKE FUN OF THIS SERIES ANYONE CARE TO JOIN MEH INNIT?

























Old Post: Its A BEAUTIFUL Day!!! 8D

I SAW NEW MOON! I SAW NEW MOON! I SAW NEW MOON! I SAW--*is shot at*

*pops out of hiding hole* Missed me!

Anywho, nto all was lost! After missing my bus and thinking the worst, my mum was able to score some tix and I was able to see the movie afterall!

I will write LULZ FILLED JOURNAL OF LULZ manananana....as rite now my brain is fried and can onyl process the following: HAWT.TAN.WEREWOLVES.SHIRTLESS.

Srsly, they wouldn't have to ask me twice to join that pack